Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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