now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
