is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
