I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
