How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
