I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
