I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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