i would punch a child for taco bell
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
