Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
