Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
