dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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