oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Pants 0. Shit 1.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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