just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
