small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
