I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
