the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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