My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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