Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
