He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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