Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
