Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
