Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize