No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
