Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
