Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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