i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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