I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
