I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
