I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
