I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
