so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
