if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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