your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
