I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
