Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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