Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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