i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So squirting runs in the family.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
