Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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