I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
