Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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