his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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