Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
