Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
