Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
