so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize