i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
