Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
