ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
