yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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