I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
