obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize