Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
