who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my poor anus
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
