so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
