why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
