i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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