so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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