Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
